Faithful to Change
In this month’s blogs, the topic of focus is the fruit of the spirit: faithfulness. In this post, I want to talk about being faithful to changing in ways that serve you. Often times we do the same things, but expect different results. This is also known as the definition of insanity, but there are some real questions here: Why is it that even though we know what to do we don’t do it? Why is change so hard and what can we do to overcome the challenges that come with trying to change?
Why is change SO hard???
There are several reasons why implementing change can be such a challenge. Some of the reasons are:
Predictability. We love what is comfortable to us and routine. This makes our world predictable, and therefore gives us a sense of control. When we feel out of control, that can be scary because there’s a fear of the unknown.
Fear of the unknown. We tend to think the worst before we think the best. This is called catastrophizing. Also, we may be afraid to make mistakes. When we feel like we don’t have enough information, it leaves us with a sense of not knowing which can then cause anxiety.
Auto pilot. Sometimes we’re just so used to doing things a certain way that it’s difficult to see how something can be done differently. Here, we do things automatically without even thinking, and so we become creatures of habit.
Lack of capacity. Sometimes we’re just not ready for change. We may not have the mental and or emotional capacity to change something. That’s because breaking a habit takes strength and intentionality.
As you can see, the reasons listed above, and several others that are not listed, make it easier for us to just remain “as is” rather than change, even if changing is better for us.
I ran into this with starting my own counseling practice. I have never worked for myself before. All my life I depended on a paycheck that came from an organization or company. The predictability, routine and comfort of getting that paycheck whether I took PTO or was sick was comforting for me. In private practice, however, I am my own boss and have to plan for PTO and sick days. This was something new and out of my comfort zone. I was faced with a decision of whether I was going to continue my regular 9-to-5 job or take the plunge into private practice.
SMART Goals
There are many ways to implement change. One of them is by setting goals for yourself. There are SMART goals, created by George Doran, Arthur Miller and James Cunningham, that increase the chances of you actually achieving your goals successfully.
S - Specific. What is it that you actually want to achieve? The more specific your goal the more clarity you have and the more attainable it becomes. For instance, a goal stating “I want to make more money next year” is not specific enough. A more specific way to write the goal would be “I want to make $100,000 next year”.
M - Measurable - You want to make sure that your goal specifies as in the statement above how much or how many you want to do. This allows you to track progress as you are trying to reach your goal. For example, “I want to grow my practice.” versus “I want to add at least six employees to my practice by the end of the year.”
A- Achievable. Is this goal realistic for this time? It’s important that when you’re setting goals you make sure that you’re not being unrealistic. Doing so can cause you to feel disappointed and defeated if you don’t achieve your goals. An example of an unrealistic goal would be purchasing a home next month that is worth 1 million when you have only saved up or been approved for $250,000.
R - Relevant. Do you want to make sure that your goal is relevant and that it lines up with your values and the other goals that you have in your life. For instance, you may have a goal to join another ministry at church. However, you have three children and have decided that you want to spend more time with them on a daily basis after work. Will adding this other ministry compete with the goal that you have set to spend more time with your children? If yes, you may want to consider whether your goal of joining the ministry is worthwhile and/or beneficial.
T - Time-bound. Lastly, you want to make sure that your goal has an end date to it. This helps you to stay on track and keeps you from never reaching your goals. For example, a goal of “I want to buy my first house” versus “I want to buy my first house this year” gives you a deadline to monitor progress and whether or not you are on track with your goals.
Each step of the SMART goals can help you develop a plan for your life and help you overcome the challenges that come with trying to change. Creating a plan that has small, easy, actionable steps is much more likely to get you to reach your goals versus having unclear non-specific goals. Try these to see if they will work in your life.
Are you looking to connect with a Christian Counselor in PG County, Maryland? If so, contact me to set up a free 15 minute consultation.
